“My brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers, because we know that we teachers will be judged more strictly.” –James 3:1, CEB

Ordination is weird.

Plenty of careers have a proving ground to earn trust and gain certification as a professional. We want our doctors and teachers and pilots to have passed some rigorous standard of requirement.  I’m quite thankful that many Christian denominations have standards of requirement before putting people in charge of the spiritual well-being of others.  My own denomination has (perhaps TOO many) steps to pass to finally be accepted for ordination as an elder or deacon to serve the church.  The process is long, often a minimum of 5-6 years, and includes personal and communal discernment, theological training, and on the ground training in the church, as well as some pretty intensive paper-writing and interviews.  Oh, also, apparently it’s okay for our therapists to hand over our mental health tests to the Board of Ordained Ministry for judgment (maybe that’s not in every conference? IDK).

Because the process is so lengthy and rigorous AND tied with a very personal sense of calling by God, it can be incredibly disheartening for candidates to be “continued,” meaning, asked to try again next year.  The comparison game starts happening in our heads.  What did others do that I didn’t do? What do others have that I don’t have? The notes for improvement aren’t always clear, and sometimes feel quite arbitrary to candidates for ministry.  Sometimes it feels like the current generation is being punished for the failures of a previous generation that let some real toxic people into the ministry.

I was ordained in 2013, after starting my candidacy process in 2007. For me, it was almost a straight shot, passing pretty smoothly from one hoop through the next.  Only, I was closeted, and terrified to come out (for a million reasons, but one of which was knowing I would not move forward in candidacy were I to acknowledge I was gay).  When I finally passed my ordination interviews, and then saw close friends get continued (asked to try again next year), I had some pretty major survivor’s guilt, especially as I listened to friends feel like their very call to ministry was being trampled on.  It was this very crisis that led me to begin this comic series, where I could process my own theology and frustration with the political systems of the church.

So this week’s comic and commentary is specifically for those of you who have gone through the ordination process, are currently in it, or are considering beginning it.

Ordination does not define you.

In fact, your call to ministry doesn’t define you.

Neither your success nor your failure define you.  The critiques and the tests and the papers.  The accolades. The warm fuzzies. The cold pricklies. None of that is YOU. And none of that defines your worth.

Systems are broken, no matter how much the church strives to follow the lead of the Holy Spirit. And even if the system is working great and you still don’t make it through unscathed, guess what? That’s STILL not what defines you.

Your call to ministry began with something much deeper, much stronger than that call itself.  It began with a call that no one can take from you.  It began with the voice of God, your Loving Parent, calling you beloved child.  It began with Christ, your first sibling, declaring you someone worth dying for, and worth rising for.

No process, no committee, no mental health test can take away your tenure as a child of God.