St. John of the Cross (1542-1591) was a Spanish Carmelite monk and a key figure in the Counter-Reformation. He penned a poem from which we get the spiritual concept of The Dark Night of the Soul.  The concept is simple to understand but incredibly painful to experience.  In every spiritual journey, death comes before resurrection.  John’s poem is deeply mystical and erotically evocative.  It tells the journey of the soul from its bodily home to full union with the Divine.  John divided his poem into eight stanzas, each representing a step on the journey to blessed union.  He expounded on the poem with several books explaining the meaning within the lines.  It is dense work to read through, highly poetic and metaphorical.

For most people, the dark night of the soul is temporary, the description sounding much like depression.  September is National Suicide Prevention Month.  The church has had a complicated past with suicide, often blaming the victim.  But the reality is depression is a sickness, something bigger than the control of the person experiencing it.  I have battled with extreme depression in the past, and I am incredibly thankful for my therapist, my family and friends who watched out for me and protected me, and my psychiatrist who figured out the right medications to regulate me.  I have lost acquaintances to suicide and I know that in these situations, the enemy is mental illness.  It is our responsibility as a church to grow in our understanding of mental illness and surround and support individuals and families impacted by depression.

I was very moved by St. John of the Cross’s poem and wanted to put its poetry into picture in a way that helped me understand my own journey with depression and faith.  Today, I close with a quote from Henri Nouwen (whose death we remember yesterday, September 21):

“I am so afraid to open my clenched fists!

Who will I be when I have nothing left to hold on to?

Who will I be when I stand before you with empty hands?

Please help me to gradually open my hands

and to discover that I am not what I own,

but what you want to give me.”

-Henri Nouwen, The Only Necessary Thing