I am a 40-year-old youth pastor. Part of my responsibilities is convincing adults that they have something to contribute to the next generation. So often, there’s a misunderstanding that adults are irrelevant to teenagers, and vice versa. Teenagers live in such a different world, how can adults possibly connect with them? So part of my job is to help train adults to see the kingdom of God at work in themselves and in the students, and then give them the freedom and the language to engage youth exactly where they are. The Safe Sanctuaries model for children and youth ministry proposes that there be one adult for every five students in order to provide a safe environment. But studies have shown that flipping those numbers is critical for student growth. Each student should be able to name five adults in their community that they trust enough to turn to with the big things in life (here’s a good article on it). Author and youth pastor Chap Clark said,
“Here’s the bottom line: every kid needs five adult fans. Any young person who shows any interest in Christ needs a minimum of five people of various ages who will say, ‘I’m going to love that kid until they are fully walking as an adult member of this congregation.’”
I think that’s true for everyone in the church. We all need a small group of fellow believers walking beside us and encouraging us, rooting for us, to succeed as we grow in holiness. The question of relevance comes down to how much you authentically care about the other person. Are you willing to walk alongside them in their life? Will you go to their games? Pray for them when they are going through difficulty? Hold them up when they are weak? Take them a care package when life stinks? That’s what makes you “relevant” to the other person. You are invested in them. And that’s something any of us can do. It’s what it looks like to love your neighbor as yourself. It’s okay if you don’t keep up with the latest trends. It’s okay if you fall short and forget a birthday. Because your long-term commitment to loving someone proves to them that God’s love for them is bigger than the moment.
I’d like to challenge you to think of students in your church that could use that kind of love and commitment. Pray for them, and pray for your pastor or youth pastor that they might be able to help foster those connections in the church. Then pray about your own involvement in youth ministry. Could you be a teacher, a youth leader, a confirmation mentor, or a prayer partner? How can you share your faith with the next generation. I know I’m biased as a youth pastor, but I promise that you will be uniquely blessed when you connect yourself with today’s youth. They are an incredible generation and I can’t wait to see what God is doing with them.