It’s been two years since we’ve had a normal Thanksgiving, and many people feel comfortable enough with the pandemic conditions now to be with family for the holiday once again. For many of us, this is a rich blessing. For me, it will be the first time my brothers’ families and mine will all be together in two years. I can’t wait!
But gathering together with family is not a gift for all people. It’s complicated to be fully present with blood relatives when political or theological divides separate us. I’m aware of people in the LGBTQ community who are no longer welcome home for the holidays, or who go to be with family that makes them feel less than. And families that formerly could gracefully avoid the conversation of differing politics now find themselves strained to the breaking point.
The Wesley family didn’t always agree over religion or politics. John and Charles’ parents famously split up for five months because they supported different kings. Susanna supported the dethroned King James, but Samuel supported the new King William. The daughters argued over which one of them was their mother’s favorite, but Susanna made it pretty clear that Martha, also called Patty, was the winner of that award. John and Charles had some pretty major disputes over their lifetime as well.
I hope I don’t lose any fans over making Susanna a Trump supporter in this comic! It just made sense with me given the way so many evangelicals have insisted that the election was stolen from him, like Susanna continued to support the dethroned king. The truth is, I’d like to hope that my heroes of the faith wouldn’t be so easily fooled along with the majority of the evangelical church, but everyone has their own politics, so who knows what they would be doing if they were alive in our time. Also, yes, I’m fully aware the Wesleys were British and would not celebrate American Thanksgiving or support American candidates. So you don’t need to send me email corrections, thanks!
If you’re gathering this week with people who may prove difficult for you, I’d like to challenge you to count it a blessing. Each person you will encounter is a uniquely designed image bearer of the Creator of the Universe, one for whom Christ died, a temple of the Holy Spirit. Their unique life experiences have led them to believe that their own values and ideas are the best path for them. And like us, they are incapable of knowing the full truth, they are prone to make mistakes. We all possess the capacity for good and evil. And when we spend time with people with whom we strongly disagree, God opens doors for personal growth…it’s up to us to learn from these opportunities.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying we must subscribe to a blind positivity that actually harms us in the process. I personally tend to be naive and overly optimistic, and a wise person once told me that I didn’t have to keep trusting people that repeatedly hurt me and others. That doesn’t mean I write off their humanity, it just means that I don’t give them my full heart and vulnerability. In his discourse on the Sermon on the Mount, John Wesley suggests a way forward when confronted with someone who speaks ill towards you:
“In conversing with them use all mildness and softness of language. Reprove them, by repeating a better lesson before them; by showing them how they ought to have spoken. And, in speaking of them, say all the good you can, without violating the rules of truth and justice.”
Whether you are looking forward to the holidays or dreading them, my prayer for you is that you find peace in the middle of the hustle and bustle. May you find wisdom to speak up or walk away when the time is right. May you discover the love of God in Christ through the lives of the people you encounter, even the difficult ones.